Early on Friday night, Residential Adviser Fred Glover sent out a message on his hall’s GroupMe messaging app in the hopes of setting up a hall movie night. Sent the previous day with several follow-up reminders, the message read, “Hey guys! It’s hall movie night in the lounge tomorrow night, and I’m bringing pizza for … Continue reading Scene on Campus: RA sitting in common room with one other person during hall movie night

Holding two bacon sunrises, three Clif bars, and a Vitamin Water, Hendrick Malony blew billowing smoke off of his oft-swiped student ID card like a used pistol. Malony, who described normal mealtime as “bland,” “a waste,” and “time-consuming” did not worry himself with questions like, “Can these Flex dollars roll over into the winter semester?” “Not … Continue reading $225 semester FoodFlex allowance reportedly no match for area freshman

Barbarically gnawing through his cold D-hall sandwich, Brian Lewis's jaw suddenly halted, reportedly giving way to a derisive grin as he heard a university tour guide outlining the meal plan to a group of high-schoolers with a usual delusional optimism. Commenting regretfully on the event, Brian recalls: "I wanted to believe the guide, about all … Continue reading Student chuckles cynically to self upon overhearing tour guide outlining meal plan

To a lukewarm Board of Trustees, W&L’s President calmly explained the advantages of the expensive move, clearly hoping to add the cherry on top of his impressive legacy. Although currently a little unsure of the logistics, the President deemed it “very important” to accommodate W&L’s ever-changing population in this way. “It’s about damn time – … Continue reading New Traveller route to run between Graham-Lees and Leyburn following student complaints

Chauncey Pummlesworth IV has made a renewed commitment to his physical fitness. For the last two weeks, the former all-County tennis, golf, and squash star has “really been getting after it” in the Fitness Center, challenging his body with a voluminous, low-eight, high-rep routine. Starting towards the back at a squat rack, Pummlesworth curls through … Continue reading Area freshman really starting to notice those gains after some stoic self-reflection in the locker room

Freshman Sean Perkins reported having “sort of a shitty time” last Friday night until finding a room temperature can of Busch Light in a box previously thought to be empty. Perkins described the party held in the basement of a local fraternity house as “pretty bottom tier” and “lame” until spotting the silver and blue … Continue reading Lukewarm Busch Light really turns freshman’s night around

Sources say that the Peer Counselor grabbed the leftover brownies from a friend’s apartment after realizing she had not visited her hall in over a month. While the university investigates the case further, all of the students involved continue to claim they were unaware of any illicit substance in the brownies. “I just assumed they were … Continue reading Peer Counselor in hot (and cloudy) water after providing brownies containing marijuana

First Year Resident Advisers at Washington and Lee University are reporting strange occurrences of what some residents are convinced is the work of an omnipresent being, a sort of “cleanup magic.” While investigations by the Residential Life continue, faculty has refused to comment on the phenomena, leaving First Years shell-shocked. “I just leave my crumbs … Continue reading First Years suspect mysterious forces as the trash they leave out in common room disappears every morning

Taking wide, sweeping strides across Cannan Green, Texan prospective student Ali Kiran whispered to his mother his game-changing plans for W&L while visiting campus Monday morning. Not only was he going to have a radio show, he said, but also a board game club, a spot in Mock Trial, and election to both the EC … Continue reading Prospective student has big, big plans for W&L