“There,” Catherine Longmire, ’20, sighed as she posted her unrecognizably edited picture and its accompanying caption. Having passed on “~insert funny caption here~,” “life’s a beach,” and some splicing of country music lyrics, Longmire would still monitor the post like a hawk (and take it down the moment its momentum of likes slowed down), but, … Continue reading Creatively exhausted Instagram captioner settles on “look at me”
“I just need some f*cking zen, you know?” Upon entering the second stage of grief after being waitlisted, yet again, for a coveted spot in PE-126 YOGA, Lila, 21, has no more cordiality left in her. To make matters worse, her “friend,” Caroline, has ignored her demands that she relinquish her spot. “I know I’m … Continue reading Chaos descends as upperclassmen women fight for spots in soul-soothing Yoga PE
Last week, the Executive Committee decided that, in an age where alternative facts and moral degradation have rapidly become the status quo, there is no point in sustaining funding for the Mudd Center for Ethics, an organization which now contradicts national culture. “I know it sounds like the glass is half empty,” said EC member … Continue reading Conceding to national moral decline, EC cuts funding for Mudd Center for Ethics
On the heels of an FDR-heavy winter term and a sedentary spring break, senior Jim Morrison righteously plunged into a third Donny T’s margarita in lieu of a conclusory pass/fail W&L class. “I’ve earned this,” he whispered to himself, figuring he’d give the family credit card a few more swipes before digging into his “soon-to-be-a-job, … Continue reading Spring-optioning senior armed with three-item bucket list, Busch Light
LEXINGTON - At 4:17 p.m. today, Duncan the Therapy Dog entered Leyburn with his handler, Lisa. Hold my fucking backpack, Steve, because I’m going to go get some cuddles. Consistently garnering more sellout crowds than any other G.A.B.-sponsored entertainer to date, Duncan’s tricks include sitting still, and, well yeah, that’s about it. Regardless, it’s the … Continue reading THERE IS A DOG IN LEYBURN
LEXINGTON - The magazine of the conservative, white, straight, Catholic, 19-to-21-year-old, male thought and opinion of a select few people was, once again, sent to the private email addresses of the entire student body today. Among those worst affected: the storage space of junk mailboxes of said student body and, perhaps more tragically, The Radish’s … Continue reading Radish servers overloaded by recent Spectator dump
The Radish 