Climate Change singlehandedly prevented by frat bro recycling can at Windfall

Scientists around the world breathed a sigh of relief this Friday night as James Blake, Class of 2025, single handedly prevented climate change by recycling his natty lite at Windfall.  “Our goal, of course, has been to keep planetary warming below 1.5 degrees celsius above pre-industrial levels,” said Nick Baker, chief scientist at the United … Continue reading Climate Change singlehandedly prevented by frat bro recycling can at Windfall

Top 10 Couple Activities at Fancy Dress

Top 10 Couple Activities at Fancy Dress Making out up on the rafters There is nothing more romantic than pretending no one else in the world exists and spending quality time doing parkour. Just make sure you don’t fall, or if you do then remind your partner that you love them (no silent treatment).   Making … Continue reading Top 10 Couple Activities at Fancy Dress

Fraternity brothers disappointed after museum-hosted pot workshop revealed to be clay demonstration

When Joe Hudson opened his Instagram to check on to see if his latest class crush had posted any new thirst traps, he was pleasantly surprised to see that she had posted an advertisement about an on-campus pot workshop happening that day. Autumn Parker, a self proclaimed indie alt-girl with zodiac signs and pronouns in … Continue reading Fraternity brothers disappointed after museum-hosted pot workshop revealed to be clay demonstration

Omega Kappa completely revamped after brother takes WGSS course

Omega Kappa brother Johnathan Greenbrook, class of 2024, has been at the spearhead of a campaign to completely overhaul the historic fraternity after he accidentally signed up for a Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies (WGSS) course this past Fall Term.  “I took it initially because I saw the word sex, and I thought to myself … Continue reading Omega Kappa completely revamped after brother takes WGSS course

Chat GPT Learns to throw epic rager, makes frats obsolete

Chat GPT: a marvel of computer science, capable of in-depth conversation, knowledgeable research, and efficient writing. Its latest update, however, taught it perhaps its most valuable skill yet: how to throw a sick-ass Frat party. Some were skeptical at first. “I saw that damn robot make a beer run this morning,” says sophomore Delta Zeta … Continue reading Chat GPT Learns to throw epic rager, makes frats obsolete