Climate Change singlehandedly prevented by frat bro recycling can at Windfall

April 8, 2023April 7, 2023 ~ The Radish

Scientists around the world breathed a sigh of relief this Friday night as James Blake, Class of 2025, single handedly prevented climate change by recycling his natty lite at Windfall. “Our goal, of course, has been to keep planetary warming below 1.5 degrees celsius above pre-industrial levels,” said Nick Baker, chief scientist at the United … Continue reading Climate Change singlehandedly prevented by frat bro recycling can at Windfall

Top 10 Couple Activities at Fancy Dress

April 8, 2023April 7, 2023 ~ The Radish

Top 10 Couple Activities at Fancy Dress Making out up on the rafters There is nothing more romantic than pretending no one else in the world exists and spending quality time doing parkour. Just make sure you don’t fall, or if you do then remind your partner that you love them (no silent treatment). Making … Continue reading Top 10 Couple Activities at Fancy Dress

Fraternity brothers disappointed after museum-hosted pot workshop revealed to be clay demonstration

April 8, 2023April 8, 2023 ~ The Radish

When Joe Hudson opened his Instagram to check on to see if his latest class crush had posted any new thirst traps, he was pleasantly surprised to see that she had posted an advertisement about an on-campus pot workshop happening that day. Autumn Parker, a self proclaimed indie alt-girl with zodiac signs and pronouns in … Continue reading Fraternity brothers disappointed after museum-hosted pot workshop revealed to be clay demonstration

Eulogy to Pizza at Coop

February 28, 2023February 28, 2023 ~ The Radish

In this season of love letters and joyous celebrations of our dining services, I seek to offer a eulogy to one of the fine dining options served here on campus in better times - Pizza at Coop. Served exclusively in 2020-2021, Coop pizza (hereafter referred to by its affectionate nickname Coozza) was the best cooked … Continue reading Eulogy to Pizza at Coop

Hand Foot and Mouth Disease Back Again You Dirty Little Freaks

February 28, 2023February 28, 2023 ~ The Radish

Far be it for us here at The Radish to kink shame, but public hygiene has once again taken a grievous hit. For the twenty-sixth time in the past four years, Hand Foot and Mouth (HFM) Disease has re-emerged. In fact, in a recent press release from the CDC, the W&L campus was cited as … Continue reading Hand Foot and Mouth Disease Back Again You Dirty Little Freaks

Bald Headed Roulette: Swimmer, VMEE, or Skinhead?

February 28, 2023February 28, 2023 ~ The Radish

Imagine you’re walking across campus from the parking deck (that never actually has parking) to get to your first class of the day. As you pass the beloved Elrod Commons, you begin to lose your ability to see. You now realize that a ray of sunshine hits you in the eyes, as a result of … Continue reading Bald Headed Roulette: Swimmer, VMEE, or Skinhead?

Worst Things to Write in a Love Letter

February 13, 2023February 26, 2023 ~ The Radish

"From the day we met …" That was two days ago at 1:00am, and they were too drunk to remember it well.

Omega Kappa completely revamped after brother takes WGSS course

February 4, 2023February 2, 2023 ~ The Radish

Omega Kappa brother Johnathan Greenbrook, class of 2024, has been at the spearhead of a campaign to completely overhaul the historic fraternity after he accidentally signed up for a Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies (WGSS) course this past Fall Term. “I took it initially because I saw the word sex, and I thought to myself … Continue reading Omega Kappa completely revamped after brother takes WGSS course

Chat GPT Learns to throw epic rager, makes frats obsolete

February 4, 2023April 2, 2023 ~ The Radish

Chat GPT: a marvel of computer science, capable of in-depth conversation, knowledgeable research, and efficient writing. Its latest update, however, taught it perhaps its most valuable skill yet: how to throw a sick-ass Frat party. Some were skeptical at first. “I saw that damn robot make a beer run this morning,” says sophomore Delta Zeta … Continue reading Chat GPT Learns to throw epic rager, makes frats obsolete