Lukewarm Busch Light really turns freshman’s night around

Freshman Sean Perkins reported having “sort of a shitty time” last Friday night until finding a room temperature can of Busch Light in a box previously thought to be empty. Perkins described the party held in the basement of a local fraternity house as “pretty bottom tier” and “lame” until spotting the silver and blue can amongst a pile of soggy cardboard boxes. Perkins cracked open the holy grail of party favors and proceeded to start a conversation with local sophomore Ben Watkins about their shared love of fine alcoholic beverages. –Caroline Bones ’18