Early on Friday night, Residential Adviser Fred Glover sent out a message on his hall’s GroupMe messaging app in the hopes of setting up a hall movie night. Sent the previous day with several follow-up reminders, the message read, “Hey guys! It’s hall movie night in the lounge tomorrow night, and I’m bringing pizza for everyone :)”

Sources reveal that while one other student, Nathan Pearson, happened to be in the room when Glover arrived carrying two pizza boxes and a DVD copy of Over the Hedge, Pearson was reading for a homework assignment and refused to acknowledge the raunchy animal adventures soon to be on the screen. At press time, Glover was reported to be sitting alone in the common room with two boxes of cold pizza, a single tear rolling down his cheek. –Win Gustin ‘20