My Rush Memoirs – Hazing in Upsilon Xi Omicron

When I enrolled at Washington and Lee, I was confident that their anti-hazing program would protect me from the worst excesses of Greek life. After doing quizzes on my phone to determine whether or not beating someone for not doing chores counted as hazing, I knew no one on campus would be able to get … Continue reading My Rush Memoirs – Hazing in Upsilon Xi Omicron

Gaines vs Graham Lees: A Debate or a Pickup Line?

Picture this: You're a freshman on Windfall Hill during O-week at one of your first college parties. You're having fun (don't worry these parties get old fast) and you're dancing with a group of your friends to Pitbull or some other 2010's hip-hop song. Suddenly, an older frat-dude approaches you and discovers that you are … Continue reading Gaines vs Graham Lees: A Debate or a Pickup Line?

Chat GPT Learns to throw epic rager, makes frats obsolete

Chat GPT: a marvel of computer science, capable of in-depth conversation, knowledgeable research, and efficient writing. Its latest update, however, taught it perhaps its most valuable skill yet: how to throw a sick-ass Frat party. Some were skeptical at first. “I saw that damn robot make a beer run this morning,” says sophomore Delta Zeta … Continue reading Chat GPT Learns to throw epic rager, makes frats obsolete

Testosterone from Abroad: Greek Org Fosters Inclusivity and Multi-level Marketing

As the administration moves forward with their goal to “stop talking about goddamn Robert E. Lee,” the Admissions Office has made a concerted effort to attract additional international students to the university. As President Dudley put it in his latest address to the student body, “international students’ unique perspectives, work ethic, and limited knowledge of … Continue reading Testosterone from Abroad: Greek Org Fosters Inclusivity and Multi-level Marketing

Influx of high school seniors doubles fraternities’ dating pool

With early decision season approaching, touring high school seniors have flocked to campus in hopes of signing half-a-million dollars away to cry daily for four years.  However, for our renowned campus fraternities, this annual minor inconvenience represents a great triumph for brothers who are down bad. The influx of minors and barely adults has, according … Continue reading Influx of high school seniors doubles fraternities’ dating pool

W&L Marriage Pact Matches Hopeful Single with the Ghost of Robert E. Lee  

Like many other students suffering through the loneliness and isolation that follow Hot Girl Summer™, freshman Anna Wagner was understandably excited when she heard of the return of everyone’s favorite activity: the Marriage Pact.    “I had never heard of it until the wlumarriagepact account followed me on Instagram, but soon it was the only thing … Continue reading W&L Marriage Pact Matches Hopeful Single with the Ghost of Robert E. Lee  

Exposé: International student revealed to have “unpaid laborers” in home country

Over the summer, the women of Omicron Omicron Rho were more than a little surprised to find that their beloved sister, international student Cora Njoroge, owned more than just sorority pride shirts and the newest model of the Vitamix machine. Njoroge invited her favorited sisters to an all-expenses-paid-for vacation in her home country of Kenya … Continue reading Exposé: International student revealed to have “unpaid laborers” in home country