Your December Horoscopes

The Radish's in-house astrologist is back and more aligned with the stars than ever before. Below, find out what December has in store for you! Sagittarius (Nov. 22 — Dec. 21): A ring of fire eclipse will enter your second house of money this month and will be roughly the same size as the savings … Continue reading Your December Horoscopes

Reports of Close Encounters with Professors at Gym Spark Worry

An anonymous student has come forward to share her harrowing story from the W&L fitness center. The victim was approximately ten minutes into her treadmill run when she claims that her Econ professor took the treadmill directly beside her. “I was in the zone and suddenly my professor is right there running twice as fast. … Continue reading Reports of Close Encounters with Professors at Gym Spark Worry

Investigation: Student Stricken with Intense Thursday Morning Social Anxiety

“Girls at this school suck,” Claims a young man denied a DFM twice in one night. It’s a phrase heard from many among the scholarly gentlemen of the Wednesday night party scene. It is truly a feat in the art of deflection, when one is simply asked: “How was your night, my man?” With such … Continue reading Investigation: Student Stricken with Intense Thursday Morning Social Anxiety

Lexington Restaurants Show Support for Post-Darty Dining

The restaurants of the Lexington community have issued a statement of support for student-thrown day parties, colloquially known as  “darties” or “day chays”, after seeing a spike in revenue, especially tips, on the evenings of these events. It may seem unclear as to why students pretending not to be drunk would be beneficial for their … Continue reading Lexington Restaurants Show Support for Post-Darty Dining

Surgeon General Declares Baggie of Salt to be Universal Remedy

After years of questions about their function and efficacy, the baggies of salt from the Student Health Center have been found to aid in recovery from almost every disease on the planet. The health center has been doling out these bags by the thousands for years, even though most students have found their healing properties … Continue reading Surgeon General Declares Baggie of Salt to be Universal Remedy