Omega Kappa brother Johnathan Greenbrook, class of 2024, has been at the spearhead of a campaign to completely overhaul the historic fraternity after he accidentally signed up for a Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies (WGSS) course this past Fall Term. “I took it initially because I saw the word sex, and I thought to myself … Continue reading Omega Kappa completely revamped after brother takes WGSS course
After withering criticism from the campus’ right wing, including a brilliantly drawn cartoon, the University has retracted their proposed updates to the required curriculum of all students. In the place of those plans, the university has proposed a new, practical education to prepare students “for the dystopian hellscape your generation will inherit.” “With issues like … Continue reading Revised FDR requirements to reflect dystopian hellscape students expected to inherit
After his successful acquisition of Twitter, the world’s richest man has set his sights on Lexington’s beloved Ring Tum Phi. This most recent update leaves only The Radish as a trustworthy source of news, and The Spectator as the school’s sole satire publication. “He just walked onto campus and gave me a truck with a … Continue reading Elon Musk Purchases the Ring Tum Phi
Over the summer, the women of Omicron Omicron Rho were more than a little surprised to find that their beloved sister, international student Cora Njoroge, owned more than just sorority pride shirts and the newest model of the Vitamix machine. Njoroge invited her favorited sisters to an all-expenses-paid-for vacation in her home country of Kenya … Continue reading Exposé: International student revealed to have “unpaid laborers” in home country
W&L’s student organization opposed to abortion rights announced a new “Chastity Week” to oppose SHAG’s yearly Sex Week extravaganza. “Remember the kid that hung up posters of a crusader knight in the library? That was actually our theme drop,” said Sam Austin, class of ‘23 and president of the club. The new event will be … Continue reading Students for Life Announce “Chastity Week”
Facing a lack of students willing to stand up for their beliefs, the student-run, alumni-bankrolled publication The Spectator announced it will open letters of opinion to alumni so that parents of Spectator staff can prove dumb liberals wrong. Chris Pratt (no relation), editor in chief of The Spectator, announced the changes at a meeting of … Continue reading Spectator opens letters to Alumni
In a stunned auditorium on Wednesday, it became clear that Mock Con had accidentally invited the Irish Republican Army to speak, appearing to have mistaken the far-left nationalist organization with Irish supporters of the American political party. The speech, which was advertised as featuring conservative Irish-Americans working in the military, began with an unnamed man … Continue reading Mock Con ’24 Invites IRA to Speak
The Office of Career and Professional Development’s job presentation invitation to the CIA ended in disaster this afternoon when news broke that the Executive Committee had been overthrown and replaced with a far right American puppet regime. While the CIA denied involvement, the new Executive Committee, which announced in Yik Yak that it will be … Continue reading CIA Visit Ends in EC Coup
With abortion rights having been overturned by the Supreme Court, Washington and Lee has announced a new scholarship to help male students pay for much needed child support. Director of Financial Aid, Aaron Dowels, announced the initiative, named the "Old Kanye Memorial Fund" in a school wide meeting. "As you know, part of our core … Continue reading School Launches Child Support Scholarship
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