Brew Boycott: Co-op to stop offering coffee until students stop making jokes about their coffee consumption

Co-op workers have finally put their foot down over the recent rise in caffeine-related jokes among the student body. All over campus there have been reports of students bragging about the sheer volume of caffeine that they have ingested, some of it even after 10pm. Campus-wide Snapchat analysis has supported the claim, with a notable … Continue reading Brew Boycott: Co-op to stop offering coffee until students stop making jokes about their coffee consumption

Lukewarm Busch Light really turns freshman’s night around

Freshman Sean Perkins reported having “sort of a shitty time” last Friday night until finding a room temperature can of Busch Light in a box previously thought to be empty. Perkins described the party held in the basement of a local fraternity house as “pretty bottom tier” and “lame” until spotting the silver and blue … Continue reading Lukewarm Busch Light really turns freshman’s night around

Falling on hard times: Traveller’s ghost requests students give $20 for good luck in lieu of pennies

From 6:51-6:57 p.m. yesterday, Traveller’s ghost spoke with the EC to raise the suggested donation at his grave to $20. The once noble steed told members that due to an unexpected rise in afterlife expenditures, $0.01 in return for a lifetime of good luck was no longer “fiscally responsible.” “I’m not the only one having to … Continue reading Falling on hard times: Traveller’s ghost requests students give $20 for good luck in lieu of pennies

Peer Counselor in hot (and cloudy) water after providing brownies containing marijuana

Sources say that the Peer Counselor grabbed the leftover brownies from a friend’s apartment after realizing she had not visited her hall in over a month. While the university investigates the case further, all of the students involved continue to claim they were unaware of any illicit substance in the brownies. “I just assumed they were … Continue reading Peer Counselor in hot (and cloudy) water after providing brownies containing marijuana

Study: Questioning self-worth found to be most common justification for declaring Williams School-related major

Lexington, VA – A recent study published by Gallup revealed that over 73% of students who declared a major in the Williams School in the past year did so due to “exceedingly low levels of self-worth, often bordering on self-loathing.” Additionally, the study revealed that multiple students, when asked what they intended to do with … Continue reading Study: Questioning self-worth found to be most common justification for declaring Williams School-related major

Mother of hometown acquaintance utilizes 4 incorrect variations of W&L’s name

Asking first “how things were going at William and Lee,” Cincinnati mother Deidra Taylor, 47, managed to create and employ a total of four incorrect versions of W&L’s name in one conversation, sources confirmed Friday. First-year W&L student Bryan Sapenski, who attended high school with Taylor’s son, was visiting home for Reading Days when he … Continue reading Mother of hometown acquaintance utilizes 4 incorrect variations of W&L’s name

Unassuming pumpkins fall victim to rampage of inebriated students

The defenseless pumpkins, who assumed they had escaped the ruthless grasps of basic girls everywhere after Starbucks’ seasonal menu rollout, are now trembling as they realize a worse villain has emerged: drunken college students. This weekend saw the first of what are sure to be many fatalities this season, as vegetable remains were mercilessly strewn … Continue reading Unassuming pumpkins fall victim to rampage of inebriated students