Pence’s Classified Documents Found on Campus

On March 21st, 2023, Mock Con hosted former vice president Mike Pence and Fox News anchor Bret Baier at the University Chapel for their kickoff event. While the event itself was a raging success for Pence’s new standup comedy tour featuring Bret Baier’s legendary Trump impersonation, perhaps the biggest political bombshell in recent history came … Continue reading Pence’s Classified Documents Found on Campus

Climate Change singlehandedly prevented by frat bro recycling can at Windfall

Scientists around the world breathed a sigh of relief this Friday night as James Blake, Class of 2025, single handedly prevented climate change by recycling his natty lite at Windfall.  “Our goal, of course, has been to keep planetary warming below 1.5 degrees celsius above pre-industrial levels,” said Nick Baker, chief scientist at the United … Continue reading Climate Change singlehandedly prevented by frat bro recycling can at Windfall

Omega Kappa completely revamped after brother takes WGSS course

Omega Kappa brother Johnathan Greenbrook, class of 2024, has been at the spearhead of a campaign to completely overhaul the historic fraternity after he accidentally signed up for a Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies (WGSS) course this past Fall Term.  “I took it initially because I saw the word sex, and I thought to myself … Continue reading Omega Kappa completely revamped after brother takes WGSS course

Testosterone from Abroad: Greek Org Fosters Inclusivity and Multi-level Marketing

As the administration moves forward with their goal to “stop talking about goddamn Robert E. Lee,” the Admissions Office has made a concerted effort to attract additional international students to the university. As President Dudley put it in his latest address to the student body, “international students’ unique perspectives, work ethic, and limited knowledge of … Continue reading Testosterone from Abroad: Greek Org Fosters Inclusivity and Multi-level Marketing