First Year Resident Advisers at Washington and Lee University are reporting strange occurrences of what some residents are convinced is the work of an omnipresent being, a sort of “cleanup magic.” While investigations by the Residential Life continue, faculty has refused to comment on the phenomena, leaving First Years shell-shocked.

“I just leave my crumbs and wrappers right there, and by morning, they’re gone,” said First Year Ignatius Rant. “It’s beyond my comprehension. It even stacks my forgotten textbooks on the table, too.”

Students have also reported similar wizardry at their own homes, leading to the possibility that the mysterious force follows them wherever they go. Sebastian added, “I’m really hoping it also works at The Village. I’d clean it myself but I’ve got something.” –Bryan Jun ’19