Cadavers losing ground in tunnel war with the Mole People

In a conflict so mysterious, so exclusive that your friend who sometimes goes to windfall hasn’t even heard about it, the Cadavers’ ongoing tunnel war against the Mole People has taken a turn for the worst. Within the subterranean caverns beneath Washington and Lee University, the shouts of soldiers echo through the Cadaver stronghold: “WE … Continue reading Cadavers losing ground in tunnel war with the Mole People

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Protest forms outside WLUR Radio Station as Christmas music starts up in November

This first week in November, three separate protests, each with 3-4 individual persons, were peacefully performed outside the WLUR radio station. Their message, one protestor stated, is “NO MORE CHRISTMAS SONGS FOUR WEEKS EARLY." The riotous groups of scrooges were seen holding signs such as “Neither Holiday Reason nor Open Season,” “This Is Just Ridiculous,” … Continue reading Protest forms outside WLUR Radio Station as Christmas music starts up in November

W&L Greek Life resorting to a sorting hat to divide freshman girls into sororities

After a Harry Potter marathon and one too many butter beers, Panhell has come to a group decision to use a sorting hat to place girls into sororities this year. Although unconventional, they are really excited about the potential outcomes. “I just think it’ll be a really great way to get six groups of girls … Continue reading W&L Greek Life resorting to a sorting hat to divide freshman girls into sororities

University Cleaners respond to criminal allegations

The news that University Cleaners is currently under investigation by the DEA sent shockwaves through the campus. When asked about the charges and the attention from law enforcement, Manager Dennis LePore, appearing more flustered than Winona Ryder in every Stranger Things episode, explained the issue that caught the eye of the law enforcement agents. "Well, … Continue reading University Cleaners respond to criminal allegations

Friday Underground on probation after serving coffee to first years

Friday Underground was placed on social probation last week when university officials discovered that many members had violated several major recruitment policies. “We were shocked to find that Friday Underground had, among other violations, given coffee to First Year students” said the concerned Director of Residence and Greek Life. “They were also found to have been hosting … Continue reading Friday Underground on probation after serving coffee to first years