Month: November 2016

Guy with Vineyard Vines laptop sticker “definitely” going to be at Windfall tonight

~ The Radish

A junior from South Carolina (probably named, like, Hunter or something) divulged his night's plans to a group of fraternity men on earlier today. Sources from The Radish report that Hunter was sitting in Commons, eating some “pretty critical for the hangover I’ve got today” loaded fries, when he was approached by a couple of The … Continue reading Guy with Vineyard Vines laptop sticker “definitely” going to be at Windfall tonight

Amidst fall fashion sales, local sorority star really hopes her sisters don’t notice she orders from J.Crew Factory

~ The Radish

Charlotte Spiegelman knows the turn of Rockbridge County’s beautiful foliage can only mean one thing: change-of-season flash sales. This crucial time window allows fashion-conscious shoppers like Spiegelman to purchase items she totally would buy full price with less of her parent’s money. “That it’s on sale is just an added bonus,” Spiegelman admitted. “I’m buying … Continue reading Amidst fall fashion sales, local sorority star really hopes her sisters don’t notice she orders from J.Crew Factory

18-year-old ‘soul-mates’ vow to make it work

~ The Radish

Upon returning to campus after Thanksgiving break, area freshman Sara Holmes made a point to verbally re-commit to her long-distance boyfriend, John, in front of all her closest friends. “Tomorrow marks seven months, I just know he’s the one,” she announced to audible gasps of delight. Holmes has reportedly deemed it a “fluke” that her … Continue reading 18-year-old ‘soul-mates’ vow to make it work

Classmates pretty much done hearing about your internship last summer

~ The Radish

More than half way through Fall term, friends of Strategic Communications Major Lisa Lawson are pretty much done with hearing about her internship this summer. Despite having spent three months pushing pencils and making copies for a media company with a unrecognizable name, Lawson continues to reference her time in the city - oh no, … Continue reading Classmates pretty much done hearing about your internship last summer

Ann Coulter “bummed” she won’t be able to be wildly offensive at Mock Con 2020

~ The Radish

On an election day full of surprises, one person in particular seemed to be taking Trump’s improbable win to heart. As the results trickled in, Ann Coulter was seen pacing, pale in the face, and visibly upset about the results. Confused, a Radish reporter interviewed her and quickly realized that her stress was not tied … Continue reading Ann Coulter “bummed” she won’t be able to be wildly offensive at Mock Con 2020

Experienced, mature freshman returns home for Thanksgiving, cracks open Natty Lite at family dinner

~ The Radish

Thomas Prescott’s family stared at him in shock as he reached into the back pocket of his Ralph Lauren khakis, unearthing a lukewarm Natural Light can before sitting down at the nicely set dining room table for their Thanksgiving dinner. Trembling, his mother had to set down her champagne flute, nearly knocking over the decorative … Continue reading Experienced, mature freshman returns home for Thanksgiving, cracks open Natty Lite at family dinner

First-Year excited to return home for fifth time since starting college

~ The Radish

When interviewed about making a fifth trek home in 10 weeks, this time for Thanksgiving, James Bernard, ’20, could barely contain his excitement: “It’s just been really tough, living on my own for the first time, you know? Some off-time is really what I need.” Aside from re-watching all available Friends episodes with no pants … Continue reading First-Year excited to return home for fifth time since starting college

Upperclassman reminisces about living in Gilliam as nearby freshman backs away hurriedly

~ The Radish

Following a flurry of frantic calls yesterday from a freshman student at a local fraternity house, Public Safety quickly arrived with backup to respond to the disturbance. The individual in question, who has requested to remain anonymous, told the officers that a “what classes are you taking?” conversation with an upperclassman took a turn for the … Continue reading Upperclassman reminisces about living in Gilliam as nearby freshman backs away hurriedly