Picture this: You're a freshman on Windfall Hill during O-week at one of your first college parties. You're having fun (don't worry these parties get old fast) and you're dancing with a group of your friends to Pitbull or some other 2010's hip-hop song. Suddenly, an older frat-dude approaches you and discovers that you are … Continue reading Gaines vs Graham Lees: A Debate or a Pickup Line?
When I enrolled at Washington and Lee, I was confident that their anti-hazing program would protect me from the worst excesses of Greek life. After doing quizzes on my phone to determine whether or not beating someone for not doing chores counted as hazing, I knew no one on campus would be able to get … Continue reading My Rush Memoirs – Hazing in Upsilon Xi Omicron
A representative for the class of 2026 gave a statement to The Radish this afternoon noting that all of the students in the freshman class are now complete experts at handling every aspect of college life. “From avoiding the center columns to navigating this confusing campus, after 1.2 semesters, our class knows pretty much everything … Continue reading First year students “basically experts at the whole college thing.”
Daniel Starr, Class of 2025, was found to be hip, relatable and cool when leading his Volunteer Venture trip to Washington State during Pre-Orientation, now termed “Leading Edge” for some reason. “I know the froshies were scared when we were on the bus to the place, but I yelled ‘noice’ every time we passed a … Continue reading Pre-O Leader Really Cool and Relatable
The town was shocked when they heard the news of freshman Kyle Troup’s brutal dismembering. It all began on the quiet night of October 15th, when Troup was walking home from the library. As soon as he tried to cross the quad, a pickup truck with farm plates filled with five young, strong, handsome townies … Continue reading Trav Dispatch Extends Hours 15 Minutes After Small Freshman Boy Drawn and Quartered by Townies
We've all been there. You exit the party, thrilled you're leaving at just the right time. Not too early, not too late, right? You strut down to the Trav stop. And then, you see the winding line of students slowly pushing towards the orange cones. But! No need to panic. We've compiled a step-by-step guide … Continue reading How to Handle an Overcrowded Trav Line
The elusive out-of-town girlfriend of that guy on your hall has magically appeared for Fancy Dress. After nearly a year of existing only in vague mentions and the occasional tag in a Facebook meme, the out-of-town girlfriend arrived late last night from a school you can't quite remember. "I kind of thought she … Continue reading Out-of-town Girlfriend Materializes for Fancy Dress Weekend
Instagram servers experienced an annual surge of activity as enthusiastic new sorority members plastered their Greek letters all over social media last Monday evening. “My social media presence finally feels complete,” said Marie Smith, a new member of Alpha Phi Beta Gamma Delta Psi. Smith wanted all her friends and family to see that she was … Continue reading Addition of Greek letters to freshman girl’s Instagram bio signals end of formal recruitment
Friday Underground was placed on social probation last week when university officials discovered that many members had violated several major recruitment policies. “We were shocked to find that Friday Underground had, among other violations, given coffee to First Year students” said the concerned Director of Residence and Greek Life. “They were also found to have been hosting … Continue reading Friday Underground on probation after serving coffee to first years
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