Zoom University Professors: Lazy or Drunks?

It's 8:30 AM on Thursday morning and Braxton Childress is so hungover that he can feel his head splitting in two. As he scrambles around to find his laptop, and air pods (yeah, it’s that kid) he realizes that he has to rush to the bathroom, and he’s already late. After a dark experience, that … Continue reading Zoom University Professors: Lazy or Drunks?

October 1 Update for Fall Term

To: W&L Undergraduate Students From: Sidney Evans, Vice President for Student Affairs and Dean of Students Below is this week’s update on the university’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic. Please remember to check the COVID-19 Resources website for the latest campus messages, resources, and FAQs that are being updated regularly, and to submit your questions … Continue reading October 1 Update for Fall Term

Breaking News: Men’s Soccer Bans Elderly Admirer From Practices

In a surprise turn of events, the Washington and Lee Men’s Soccer team has formally banned a fan from attending their practices. This comes roughly a week after Rockbridge County resident Leeroy Hunter, 80, showed up uninvited to one of their team meetings. The news of no soccer this fall devastated Hunter, who has been … Continue reading Breaking News: Men’s Soccer Bans Elderly Admirer From Practices

Feminist Group on Campus Launches Bold New Campaign

A new progressive club on our campus, Women and Libido (W&L), has recently put forth a mission statement. They claim that the misogyny and sexism perpetrated in Lexington is most flagrantly displayed… in bed. “Fake orgasms are a scourge and should be eradicated at all costs.” The group sees these performative acts as needlessly propping … Continue reading Feminist Group on Campus Launches Bold New Campaign

Inside “Operation Snitch Bitch”

In the wake of the administration’s decision to force eight students to leave campus without Honor Violation trials, the EC President has decided to declassify W&L documents containing sensitive information that reveal a successful sting operation run by W&L’s Public Safety Division. The document entitled “Operation Snitch Bitch” revealed a plan implemented by the Public … Continue reading Inside “Operation Snitch Bitch”

Leyburn Redesign Leak Reveals Plan for Massive Dumpster to Store All the Books

The university community was surprised by the release of plans showing that when Leyburn Library is remodeled in 2035, it will feature a large dumpster outside to store the University’s collection of printed materials. “Being ‘not unmindful of the future’ means constantly reimagining the ways that our students can be at their best, and to … Continue reading Leyburn Redesign Leak Reveals Plan for Massive Dumpster to Store All the Books

Mock Con Couldn’t Stop the Bern (No Matter How Hard They Tried)

We all know what went down in the 2016 Democratic Primary. Senator Bernie Sanders was screwed out of his nomination by the superdelegates of the Democratic Party and probably Jeffery Epstein. Well this past weekend, Washington & Lee held our very own Democratic Convention, affectionately referred to as “Mock Con.” And just weeks after the … Continue reading Mock Con Couldn’t Stop the Bern (No Matter How Hard They Tried)