Chat GPT: a marvel of computer science, capable of in-depth conversation, knowledgeable research, and efficient writing. Its latest update, however, taught it perhaps its most valuable skill yet: how to throw a sick-ass Frat party. Some were skeptical at first. “I saw that damn robot make a beer run this morning,” says sophomore Delta Zeta … Continue reading Chat GPT Learns to throw epic rager, makes frats obsolete
A representative for the class of 2026 gave a statement to The Radish this afternoon noting that all of the students in the freshman class are now complete experts at handling every aspect of college life. “From avoiding the center columns to navigating this confusing campus, after 1.2 semesters, our class knows pretty much everything … Continue reading First year students “basically experts at the whole college thing.”
When I enrolled at Washington and Lee, I was confident that their anti-hazing program would protect me from the worst excesses of Greek life. After doing quizzes on my phone to determine whether or not beating someone for not doing chores counted as hazing, I knew no one on campus would be able to get … Continue reading My Rush Memoirs – Hazing in Upsilon Xi Omicron
Omega Kappa brother Johnathan Greenbrook, class of 2024, has been at the spearhead of a campaign to completely overhaul the historic fraternity after he accidentally signed up for a Women, Gender and Sexuality Studies (WGSS) course this past Fall Term. “I took it initially because I saw the word sex, and I thought to myself … Continue reading Omega Kappa completely revamped after brother takes WGSS course
Picture this: You're a freshman on Windfall Hill during O-week at one of your first college parties. You're having fun (don't worry these parties get old fast) and you're dancing with a group of your friends to Pitbull or some other 2010's hip-hop song. Suddenly, an older frat-dude approaches you and discovers that you are … Continue reading Gaines vs Graham Lees: A Debate or a Pickup Line?
As the administration moves forward with their goal to “stop talking about goddamn Robert E. Lee,” the Admissions Office has made a concerted effort to attract additional international students to the university. As President Dudley put it in his latest address to the student body, “international students’ unique perspectives, work ethic, and limited knowledge of … Continue reading Testosterone from Abroad: Greek Org Fosters Inclusivity and Multi-level Marketing
With early decision season approaching, touring high school seniors have flocked to campus in hopes of signing half-a-million dollars away to cry daily for four years. However, for our renowned campus fraternities, this annual minor inconvenience represents a great triumph for brothers who are down bad. The influx of minors and barely adults has, according … Continue reading Influx of high school seniors doubles fraternities’ dating pool
After his successful acquisition of Twitter, the world’s richest man has set his sights on Lexington’s beloved Ring Tum Phi. This most recent update leaves only The Radish as a trustworthy source of news, and The Spectator as the school’s sole satire publication. “He just walked onto campus and gave me a truck with a … Continue reading Elon Musk Purchases the Ring Tum Phi
After withering criticism from the campus’ right wing, including a brilliantly drawn cartoon, the University has retracted their proposed updates to the required curriculum of all students. In the place of those plans, the university has proposed a new, practical education to prepare students “for the dystopian hellscape your generation will inherit.” “With issues like … Continue reading Revised FDR requirements to reflect dystopian hellscape students expected to inherit
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