Category: Hall of Fame

5’2″ Freshman Boy Stands in Poster Line with 50 Sports Illustrated Bikini Posters of Gigi Hadid

~ The Radish

In an attempt to impress his new-found friends, George Foreman, ‘21, stands in the thirty-minute poster fair line, prepared to invest his summer savings on overlarge posters of bikini-clad women. Clinging onto his Gigi Hadid and Kendall Jenner posters showcasing sparkly string bikinis, George envisions his suave dorm room to attract girls of the same … Continue reading 5’2″ Freshman Boy Stands in Poster Line with 50 Sports Illustrated Bikini Posters of Gigi Hadid

Cause for concern? Batch of generic-looking, unremarkably named white boys actually Class of 2021

~ The Radish

GRAHAM-LEES—Despite the university’s best efforts to force friendships among first-years, California native and RA Kallie Stephenson has described the task as “exceedingly difficult” due to the influx of bland-looking white males on campus. “We started classes two weeks ago and I, speaking for the rest of the girls on my hall, still can’t tell you … Continue reading Cause for concern? Batch of generic-looking, unremarkably named white boys actually Class of 2021

Student Affairs reveals University Improvement Plan; relocating campus to Massachusetts 

~ The Radish

In celebration of the one-year anniversary of third year housing, known behind closed doors as ‘Phase One,’ Student Affairs unveiled the rest of its much-anticipated university improvement plan designed to fix major stylistic issues present at Washington & Lee. A relatively mundane Phase Two is the construction of senior housing, also expediently built and capable of accommodating … Continue reading Student Affairs reveals University Improvement Plan; relocating campus to Massachusetts 

Report: 45% of class time spent piggy-backing off of Deirdre’s point

~ The Radish

Eager to show off her freshly acquired knowledge from the previous night’s reading, Freshman Deirdre Hoffman kicked off an insightful discussion in her Sociology 124 seminar this past week. “I just really felt that, like, the point the author made on page 2 really emphasized the point she made in her thesis, and that just, … Continue reading Report: 45% of class time spent piggy-backing off of Deirdre’s point

Local sorority caught in grand embezzlement scheme

~ The Radish

In a shocking turn of events, Hope Smith and Lizzy Warren, President and Vice President of the sorority formerly known as the Zetas, were arrested on multiple charges of embezzlement. As has been kept incredibly tight-lipped over the past week and a half, Zeta had engineered a campaign to disaffiliate its chapter from its nationals, … Continue reading Local sorority caught in grand embezzlement scheme

VDOT to triple number of 18-wheelers on I-81 to Lexington because fuck you

~ The Radish

“Yeah, you heard me. Fuck you, in particular, you sack of shit,” Virginia Department of Transportation President Mike Dorvino said in a statement earlier today, reportedly aimed specifically at you. Upon being asked for clarification, Dorvino made an obscene gesture, made fun of the fact that you didn’t go anywhere cool for February Break, and … Continue reading VDOT to triple number of 18-wheelers on I-81 to Lexington because fuck you