Washington and Lee University, better known as Woke and Liberal University, has finally begun to tamp down on excess communism, gender ideology, and basic human decency ahead of visits by real patriot Matt Walsh and liberal traitor Mike Pence.
“About time.” said Klan Stan, editor in chief of the Spectator.
The first step in this campus wide transformation will be the renovation of the Red House, the current home of the radical Queer Liberation Army. Taking inspiration from the famed remodeling of the Institut für Sexualwissenschaft, W&L announced major plans for changing the Red House.
“Our first step will be disposing of unpatriotic books and flags held by the radicals in the Red House,” said General’s Redoubt, who were placed in charge of the renovations. “Only the stars and bars – shit, I mean stars and stripes, should be on display at our campus.”
In contrast to the liberal snowflake “safe space” the Red House currently offers, the new Red (good kind) House will offer a place where Republicans and conservatives can talk with each other without fear from harassment by liberal elites and anti-free speech advocates.
While election stealer Mike Pence could not be reached for comment, renowned internet intellectual and content creator Matt Walsh responded approvingly to the changes.
“I’m just here for the paycheck. But hey, I support anything that allows me to make bad faith arguments about whether people deserve human rights. I literally called myself a theocratic fascist, which was a joke, but not really,” the famed piece of shit said.