Lexington, VA – A recent study published by Gallup revealed that over 73% of students who declared a major in the Williams School in the past year did so due to “exceedingly low levels of self-worth, often bordering on self-loathing.” Additionally, the study revealed that multiple students, when asked what they intended to do with their degree, replied, “Hell, I don’t know. Maybe investment banking or something like that.” The polled students, however, mentioned that they derived a bit of pride from the fact that their skill sets – a mid-level proficiency with Microsoft Excel, the ability to walk around for several hours after an interview in a black-on-black suit, and a willingness to spend inhumane amounts of time in a cubicle somewhere in the Northeast – were unique and did a nice job of separating them from the crowd. –Andrew Coats ‘18