Report: 85% of fraternity men “excited to see you out tonight,” “wondering where you’re from again”

In highlights of the organization’s annual survey of undergraduate men participating in Greek Life, W&L’s Interfraternity Council reported 85% of respondents were both “excited to see you out tonight” and “wondering where you’re from again”. The survey report, posted to the IFC’s student government page on Friday, added that 67% of the Greek community indicated … Continue reading Report: 85% of fraternity men “excited to see you out tonight,” “wondering where you’re from again”

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First Years suspect mysterious forces as the trash they leave out in common room disappears every morning

First Year Resident Advisers at Washington and Lee University are reporting strange occurrences of what some residents are convinced is the work of an omnipresent being, a sort of “cleanup magic.” While investigations by the Residential Life continue, faculty has refused to comment on the phenomena, leaving First Years shell-shocked. “I just leave my crumbs … Continue reading First Years suspect mysterious forces as the trash they leave out in common room disappears every morning

Breaking the silence: student participates in discussion no one did reading for

Sitting in stunned silence, 20 students nervously looked around this morning when Professor Smirt asked the first question about last night’s reading. Given only a quarter of the class had even purchased the assigned text, everyone reportedly shifted uncomfortably in their seats for an excruciating 30 seconds before 19-year-old Teague Martin heroically broke the silence. An … Continue reading Breaking the silence: student participates in discussion no one did reading for

Young alum enjoying brief celebrity status before returning to parents’ basement

Remarking how nice it is to feel important again, Hugh Stuffington walked down the Colonnade with a renewed sense of self-worth. “Hugh has arrived,” he thought to himself as he unloaded all one of his bags from his 2004 Toyota Odyssey. Having graduated this past May with a Strategic Communications degree, Stuffington, who is reportedly … Continue reading Young alum enjoying brief celebrity status before returning to parents’ basement

A Borat impression from that guy on your hall

“That’s a very niiiceeee!” yells Matt Davis from room 254, accompanied by an enthusiastic double thumbs-up. Davis has been polishing his spot-on Borat impression ever since his friend politely chuckled at a stray “ma wife!” last year. Sources indicate that Davis is more than happy to perform his impression at any mention of comedy movies. … Continue reading A Borat impression from that guy on your hall

WebAdvisor demands human sacrifice ahead of Winter Term registration

WebAdvisor was briefly down on Monday ahead of Winter Term registration. Visitors to the web page were greeted with large red font on a black screen that, in exchange for access to the university’s registration software, demanded a member of the W&L student body. Preferably a freshman. Though it has always been difficult to work … Continue reading WebAdvisor demands human sacrifice ahead of Winter Term registration