15-minute parking spots solve all problems in Junior Village

“I couldn’t think of anything else we would need,” said Junior Village resident Cassidy Smith about the changes to parking at upper division housing. “This really is the cherry on top.”

As an increasing number of conveniently proximate (though already seldom) parking spaces are being given parking time restrictions, student satisfaction rates are reportedly soaring. A recent Housing Committee SurveyMonkey, which was immediately and seriously completed by every recipient, shows that the majority of juniors actually prefer walking from the freshman lot, parking in random patches of grass, and paying unsubstantiated $25 parking tickets.

A follow-up poll also showed that juniors “haven’t thought twice” that freshman are allowed to park in the deck, even though they are not. –Maddie Schaffer ‘18