Holding 15 free t-shirts from the Activities Fair, first-year Vince Gatherton scoured the tables, perplexed. “From the moment I stepped foot on the Colonnade, I knew I wanted to come to W&L” Gatherton said. “I keep hearing about the ‘Colonnade Club,’ and I want to sign up, but there’s no table.” Noting his distress, a … Continue reading Freshman tries to show enthusiasm for W&L by signing up for the Colonnade Club, surprised by first meeting

Three shotgunned beers deep at the crowded basement party, freshman Gary Scott is reportedly getting some "good vibes" from senior Laura Parks. "Yeah, I bumped into her in line for the bathroom and she seemed pretty into me," Scott said, with t-shirt perspiration stains quickly becoming too large to ignore. "We talked, like, a ton." … Continue reading Sweaty, drunk freshman feeling “pretty good” about chances with senior at basement party

After Red Thursday, in which three fire alarms were set off in Graham-Lee’s in one day, the University decided to crack down on extraneous fire alarms by adding a brand-new component to the O-Week curriculum. “‘Microwaves and How to Use Them’ is going to be a comprehensive look at the proper usage of microwave ovens … Continue reading University to add “Microwaves and How to Use Them” seminar to O-week following many, many fire alarms

Following two hours of Aristocrat shots with three hallmates in his dormroom, 115-pound Chad was spotted at 9:04 p.m. EST stumbling to his first pregame of the evening. Soon brought back at 9:17 p.m. EST by a friend and two charitable, unknown upperclassmen, Chad was in prime condition to “keep the party going” with one … Continue reading Area freshman “doesn’t need to be health centered, just taken home” between episodes of vomiting

Strolling around Windfall with two Busch Lights, one large grin, and zero cares about the Peloponnesian War, Matt Jenkins, ’20, reportedly felt “great” about tomorrow’s presentation for HIS 332: History of Greek Wars. Arriving just in time for class, confident that his bullet points were “vastly” more extensive than others, he sat in class excited … Continue reading Area first-year reads PowerPoint verbatim in class presentation

Upon returning to campus after Thanksgiving break, area freshman Sara Holmes made a point to verbally re-commit to her long-distance boyfriend, John, in front of all her closest friends. “Tomorrow marks seven months, I just know he’s the one,” she announced to audible gasps of delight. Holmes has reportedly deemed it a “fluke” that her … Continue reading 18-year-old ‘soul-mates’ vow to make it work

Thomas Prescott’s family stared at him in shock as he reached into the back pocket of his Ralph Lauren khakis, unearthing a lukewarm Natural Light can before sitting down at the nicely set dining room table for their Thanksgiving dinner. Trembling, his mother had to set down her champagne flute, nearly knocking over the decorative … Continue reading Experienced, mature freshman returns home for Thanksgiving, cracks open Natty Lite at family dinner

When interviewed about making a fifth trek home in 10 weeks, this time for Thanksgiving, James Bernard, ’20, could barely contain his excitement: “It’s just been really tough, living on my own for the first time, you know? Some off-time is really what I need.” Aside from re-watching all available Friends episodes with no pants … Continue reading First-Year excited to return home for fifth time since starting college