After his successful acquisition of Twitter, the world’s richest man has set his sights on Lexington’s beloved Ring Tum Phi. This most recent update leaves only The Radish as a trustworthy source of news, and The Spectator as the school’s sole satire publication.
“He just walked onto campus and gave me a truck with a billion dollars in cash for the newspaper. I don’t even know if I’m allowed to sell the fucking thing but said yes, of course.” said Katherine McKenzie, former editor in chief of the Ring Tum Phi. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a sudden urge to visit the moon.”
It is unclear why Mr. Musk, who has enough money to make most W&L students blush, had set his eyes on our university’s esteemed publication. However, he has been nothing if not productive since his purchase. Mr. Musk has already made drastic changes at the Ring Tum Phi. Student laptops have been replaced with typewriters “because I like the clicking noise” and all staff were expected to only write code which writes new stories, according to Mr. Musk.
Not all students have been fans of the change in ownership however.
“He told me I was fired because our newspaper was nearly bankrupt. I don’t think he knows that I actually pay $70,000 a year to work here,” said journalism major Nathaniel Greene, class of 2025.
While The Radish is proud to represent this university in a proud tradition of independent journalism, we would like to note to Mr. Musk that our editors might enjoy even a measly ten million dollars if he wanted to change our minds.
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