Charlotte Spiegelman knows the turn of Rockbridge County’s beautiful foliage can only mean one thing: change-of-season flash sales. This crucial time window allows fashion-conscious shoppers like Spiegelman to purchase items she totally would buy full price with less of her parent’s money. “That it’s on sale is just an added bonus,” Spiegelman admitted. “I’m buying … Continue reading Amidst fall fashion sales, local sorority star really hopes her sisters don’t notice she orders from J.Crew Factory

After seeing a few incredibly relatable, definitely not forced articles being shared on Facebook from W&L’s up-and-coming news source, local student Jimmy Gibson has reportedly spent hours staring at a blank Word document. “I really want to be a part of something so worldwide and special,” remarked Gibson about his fight to be featured on … Continue reading Local student tries in vain to be topical enough for new W&L satirical website

Determined to make a real, meaningful splash in college, Ashley signed up to write Odyssey Online articles to distance herself from the crowd. After a couple of weeks of brainstorming and research, pulling mainly from Buzzfeed articles but also consulting @CommonWhiteGirlTweets, Ashley came up with the groundbreaking idea to do a listicle on the Odyssey. … Continue reading Odyssey Online today, WSJ tomorrow – student sets sights high after listicle gets 5 shares on Facebook

The defenseless pumpkins, who assumed they had escaped the ruthless grasps of basic girls everywhere after Starbucks’ seasonal menu rollout, are now trembling as they realize a worse villain has emerged: drunken college students. This weekend saw the first of what are sure to be many fatalities this season, as vegetable remains were mercilessly strewn … Continue reading Unassuming pumpkins fall victim to rampage of inebriated students

Six remaining fans enjoyed the second half thrill of quarterback Chet Wickers’ 2-for-3 clutch passing performance, highlighted by a nine-yard bomb that resulted in a huge first down for the Generals. When asked about the major play, diehard fan Steve von Gilligan gushed, “Sorry, I was checking my phone,” briefly mentioning that a backrest on … Continue reading Real analysis office hours boast higher turnout than second half of football game

With the knowledge that food is her only hope at talking to anyone on her hall, Peer Counselor Molli Pender’s substandard Kroger purchase has many scratching their heads. “Damn,” said resident Sarah Yvellis, who depends on Pender’s weekly offering of fats and sugar to fill in the blanks left by D-Hall’s all-you-can-eat buffet. It is … Continue reading Peer counselor not even trying at this point with pitiful array of Kroger-brand cookies

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