Reported $3 million in t-shirt sales reveals W&L fraternity as money laundering scheme

The IRS raided a W&L fraternity on Friday after huge reported revenues, all of which supposedly came through a swipe machine right outside of Commons. The scheme fell apart soon after leaked information of the planned construction of “mega house,” the organization’s project to connect all of the houses on Windfall hill.

“When we realized the shirts weren’t even Comfort Colors, we knew something was up” an IRS spokesman said, also expressing disbelief at the lack of a frocket. “They were Gildan. Fucking Gildan.”

It has not been confirmed where the additional funds came from, but some found it suspicious as to why Fraternity members were in Colombia during reading days.

“Considering everyone takes accounting at W&L, are we really surprised,” one student said in an interview. It was pretty glaring in retrospect, as the chapter put $2.4 million toward “general philanthropy” on their tax returns. While the university has not made an official statement regarding the incident, the radish can confirm construction of mega house has ceased, and windfall will only continue to offer empty cases of beer.

-Marta Regn ‘19