Author: The Radish

Woman’s friends reveal Secret Service-like training when casual DFM attempts to leave dancefloor alongside her

~ The Radish

“She just like whispered something about an eagle in distress, then they all swooped into this coordinated like...formation. I’ve never seen anything like it.” Freshman Freddie Lowstein, still bewildered by the sleight of hand of a few hours prior, recounted the scene he’d just witnessed during Saturday night’s ΣΣΔ basement soiree. “Where did they learn … Continue reading Woman’s friends reveal Secret Service-like training when casual DFM attempts to leave dancefloor alongside her

Chubby kid at the beach a damn impressive body-surfer, if we’re being honest

~ The Radish

Zipping across the day’s biggest wave with an unmatched velocity, confidence, and poise, area dough boy Freddie Muhler, 14, showed the rest of Myrtle Beach how much fun there was to be had without a boogie board. That is, of course, only if you’ve got an appropriately buoyant body type. “I’ll admit, it’s pretty amazing … Continue reading Chubby kid at the beach a damn impressive body-surfer, if we’re being honest

Student Affairs reveals University Improvement Plan; relocating campus to Massachusetts 

~ The Radish

In celebration of the one-year anniversary of third year housing, known behind closed doors as ‘Phase One,’ Student Affairs unveiled the rest of its much-anticipated university improvement plan designed to fix major stylistic issues present at Washington & Lee. A relatively mundane Phase Two is the construction of senior housing, also expediently built and capable of accommodating … Continue reading Student Affairs reveals University Improvement Plan; relocating campus to Massachusetts 

Creatively exhausted Instagram captioner settles on “look at me”

~ The Radish

“There,” Catherine Longmire, ’20, sighed as she posted her unrecognizably edited picture and its accompanying caption. Having passed on “~insert funny caption here~,” “life’s a beach,” and some splicing of country music lyrics, Longmire would still monitor the post like a hawk (and take it down the moment its momentum of likes slowed down), but, … Continue reading Creatively exhausted Instagram captioner settles on “look at me”

Chaos descends as upperclassmen women fight for spots in soul-soothing Yoga PE 

~ The Radish

“I just need some f*cking zen, you know?” Upon entering the second stage of grief after being waitlisted, yet again, for a coveted spot in PE-126 YOGA, Lila, 21, has no more cordiality left in her. To make matters worse, her “friend,” Caroline, has ignored her demands that she relinquish her spot. “I know I’m … Continue reading Chaos descends as upperclassmen women fight for spots in soul-soothing Yoga PE 

Conceding to national moral decline, EC cuts funding for Mudd Center for Ethics

~ The Radish

Last week, the Executive Committee decided that, in an age where alternative facts and moral degradation have rapidly become the status quo, there is no point in sustaining funding for the Mudd Center for Ethics, an organization which now contradicts national culture. “I know it sounds like the glass is half empty,” said EC member … Continue reading Conceding to national moral decline, EC cuts funding for Mudd Center for Ethics

Spring-optioning senior armed with three-item bucket list, Busch Light

~ The Radish

On the heels of an FDR-heavy winter term and a sedentary spring break, senior Jim Morrison righteously plunged into a third Donny T’s margarita in lieu of a conclusory pass/fail W&L class. “I’ve earned this,” he whispered to himself, figuring he’d give the family credit card a few more swipes before digging into his “soon-to-be-a-job, … Continue reading Spring-optioning senior armed with three-item bucket list, Busch Light

Radish servers overloaded by recent Spectator dump

~ The Radish

LEXINGTON - The magazine of the conservative, white, straight, Catholic, 19-to-21-year-old, male thought and opinion of a select few people was, once again, sent to the private email addresses of the entire student body today. Among those worst affected: the storage space of junk mailboxes of said student body and, perhaps more tragically, The Radish’s … Continue reading Radish servers overloaded by recent Spectator dump