LEE CHAPEL - The Executive Committee, once again, successfully scared the shit out of a few distinguished members of the Class of ’21. On the Wednesday night of O-Week, the newest crop of nervous, hungover first-years received the 268th “Welcome to Washington and Lee” (of the week) in the sacred Lee Chapel. The EC’s president … Continue reading By the numbers: 17 first-years shit pants post honor orientation
Having lived side-by-side for two weeks now, the roommates of the Class of 2021 have, unsurprisingly, gotten pretty close. Whether enjoying impromptu swing dance lessons, complaining about a certain Calc I professor, or celebrating the latest inside joke in Co-op, some of these friendships may even pass the point of mutual avoidance, if all continues … Continue reading Cannan Green quiet hours instituted in effort to ward off influx of “deep conversations” between freshmen roommates
RED SQUARE — Having already struck out with all seven girls on his pre-orientation trip, a stag Tim Benson, ’21, sends up another prayer for a familiar face. Somewhere in the maze of halfhearted swing dancing, he figured, there was someone also looking for a complete stranger with whom to share three minutes of intimacy … Continue reading Dateless freshman wandering Red Square like lost child in supermarket
LEXINGTON — W&L’s Student Government JV squad came down with perhaps its harshest ruling to date Tuesday, unanimously opting for a prolonged mean look over a random amount of community service. Following ten minutes’ deliberation in the body’s second such meeting, the SJC found John Potter, ’20, guilty of both running in the hallways and … Continue reading SJC to add “disappointed glare” to arsenal of available reprimands
What follows is a careful analysis of the social pecking order for the 2017-2018 school year, compiled by our analysts using a top secret ranking methodology. 1. Beta 2. Chi Psi 3. FIJI 4. KA 5. Kappa Sig 6. Lambda 7. Phi Delt 8. Phi Society 9. Pi Phi 10. Pike 11. Sigma Chi 12. … Continue reading Fuck it, Let’s Just Rank the Fraternities and Get it Over With
LEXINGTON — With burning eyes, an aching head, and a dissipating container of Halo Top ice cream, Abby Milton, 20, ventured deeper into the next ring of Internet oblivion via YouTube recommended videos. Having timed out of Netflix twice already, Milton spotted her own pitiful reflection out of the corner of her laptop screen, silently … Continue reading “The basics of raising quail” marks nice stopping point for night’s YouTube expedition
NAPLES, FL — 77 degree temperatures, a lack of motorscooter parking, and a 3:30 a.m. wakeup time were reportedly all considerations in the choice to “go ahead and eat” for the Rudolph family Tuesday. Putt-putt, hiking, and every other fucking possibility requiring the use of hips and basic coordination were quickly voted down during an … Continue reading Inclusion of grandparents refines night’s options to sitting, eating
THIRD YEAR HOUSING — What started as a postponed party cleanup has since evolved into a full-fledged housing fixture, said M2 resident Amanda Guilero, citing a queso-lined pot that has since come into contact with discarded Lucky Charms, oatmeal, and guacamole. Guilero, making the case that the cheese will come right off after being exposed … Continue reading Roommate announces plan to let pan soak for next few weeks
LEXINGTON — Booster seats, shoulder belts, and five-point buckles were all included in Traveller’s surprise announcement yesterday, all apparently in an attempt to ensure the continued safety of a shorter-than-average male student population. “We jumped at the chance to work alongside both the University and the Panhellenic Council, who were equally enthusiastic about implementing these … Continue reading Traveller fleet updated to better accommodate average-sized W&L male
The Radish 