LEXINGTON — Booster seats, shoulder belts, and five-point buckles were all included in Traveller’s surprise announcement yesterday, all apparently in an attempt to ensure the continued safety of a shorter-than-average male student population.

“We jumped at the chance to work alongside both the University and the Panhellenic Council, who were equally enthusiastic about implementing these sweeping changes to our vehicles,” said Traveller Director Bill DeLauro. “Perhaps our most exciting addition, however, was our choice to include extra legroom in front of each seat, which will allow each rider to swing their legs around for the duration of the ride.”

Many responses have not, unfortunately, been totally positive. Hank Percy, 5’7”, described feeling embarrassed when complaining about the changes via the Traveller hotline.

“The operator told me to go pick on someone my own size,” Percy said to a Radish reporter, “but added that Waddell Elementary School would not be open for another two weeks, which I didn’t find particularly amusing. Following two minutes of puns about my short temper, I decided to hang up, go flex around the gym, and drive my Jeep around Lexington a few times to blow off some steam.”

On the whole, DeLauro said, the W&L campus has taken the updates in stride, no matter how small that stride may be.

—Ford Carson, ’18

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