We tested every door- the sliding, the French, the double, and the just plain massive- on on campus to bring you this official ranking, accompanied by equivalent weights. Commons entryways: equivalent to a yogurt bowl with every available topping Leyburn entrance: relative to the size and grade weight of the assignment(s) you've procrastinated on the … Continue reading Ranking the Doors of Campus
Breaking news from Robinson Hall: Reports are pouring in after a student decimated the unspoken lecture seating arrangement by sitting at a different table than usual. Andy Brown, a sophomore who should know better by now, walked into his seminar with a chaotic scheme. Instead of sitting in his usual, inconvenient seat where he must … Continue reading Class Shocked as Student Defies Unspoken Seating Arrangement
Chi O: Requires that all shoes are removed before entering the house Theta: cozies up to both sides of the Parent Teacher Association Pi Phi: spends weeks on the kids' Halloween costumes Delta: argues with other parents and referees at sporting events Kappa: leads daughter's campaign for prom queen ADPi: makes sure all boys in her … Continue reading W&L Sororities as Moms
Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Your house of domesticity will be firing on all cylinders this week, so expect lots of cleaning as a form of procrastination. Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20): Your third house of cooperation will be overexcited this week, making your group project members a little too enthusiastic about scheduling … Continue reading Horoscopes: Week of 1/22
Phi Delt: "I don't know, ask your mom." Beta: always tries to crack jokes with the babysitter but makes them uncomfortable. Lambda: records every moment of child's life for his dedicated social media accounts. Chi Psi: starts taking kids hunting at the age of nine. SNu: "do more, be better" Sig Chi: lets kids dress themselves. … Continue reading W&L Frats as Dads
Instagram servers experienced an annual surge of activity as enthusiastic new sorority members plastered their Greek letters all over social media last Monday evening. “My social media presence finally feels complete,” said Marie Smith, a new member of Alpha Phi Beta Gamma Delta Psi. Smith wanted all her friends and family to see that she was … Continue reading Addition of Greek letters to freshman girl’s Instagram bio signals end of formal recruitment
When he returned home for the recent Winter Break, Jack Adams was promoted from his status as mere student to an official W&L Representative, at least in the eyes of his distant relatives. He was first grilled with basic questions, such as the size of the school, the percentage of students in Greek life, how … Continue reading Student Promoted to School PR Representative by Family Members
Capricorn (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19): Joint energy from Pluto and the Sun will have you energized to organize your life, but this project will not get past piling Amazon boxes in the far corner of your room. Aquarius (Jan. 20 - Feb. 18): Shady Pluto will sync up with the Sun this Tuesday, making … Continue reading Your Horoscopes: Week of 1/8/18
In Germany they call him 'Kris Kringle', in Scandinavia he is 'Father Winter', and Samoa knows him simply as 'Big Red'. Santa Claus is known by many names, but West Virginia residents have recently christened him 'Jolly Old Saint No-Coal-las'. With improvements in fracking technology, the North Pole has ended the centuries-long stocking stuffer policy … Continue reading West Virginians on The Naughty List find cost-efficient natural gas in their Christmas stockings
The Radish 