Aquarius (Jan. 20 – Feb. 18): Your house of domesticity will be firing on all cylinders this week, so expect lots of cleaning as a form of procrastination.
Pisces (Feb. 19 – Mar. 20): Your third house of cooperation will be overexcited this week, making your group project members a little too enthusiastic about scheduling meetings.
Aries (Mar. 21 – Apr. 19): This week, your financial house will put the emphasis on investment piece spending, but this does not include extra large Napa Thai orders.
Taurus (Apr. 20 – May 20): The quarter moon in your sign will encourage you to stop stressing yourself out so much, so go ahead and delete that Sakai account!
Gemini (May 21 – Jun. 20): Your mystical twelfth house will thrive this week, so make sure to tell your friends your dreams, no matter how dull, in the greatest detail possible.
Cancer (Jun. 21 – Jul. 22): Your communal eleventh house will get you tangled up in the woes of making plans in the group text all week long.
Leo (Jul. 23 – Aug. 22): The quarter moon in your frantic house of organization will send you into a spiral of bullet journaling that will in no way increase productivity.
Virgo (Aug. 23 – Sept. 21): Your house of expansion will be alight this week, so expand your horizons and ask a total stranger to your upcoming formal.
Libra (Sept. 22 – Oct. 22): Not even this week’s burst of cooperative energy in your domestic house will help you when your roommate starts leaving passive aggressive sticky notes.
Scorpio (Oct. 23 – Nov. 20): Your house of partnerships will be thriving over the next few days, but this does not extend to the friend that insists on taking shots together.
Sagittarius (Nov. 21 – Dec. 21): Your house of healthy living will inspire you this week. Does Walmart sell juice cleanse programs?
Capricorn (Dec. 22 – Jan. 19): A quarter moon in Taurus will fill your house of romance this week, compelling you to buy those Valentine candy hearts that you know are disgusting.
The Radish 