Author: The Radish

Christmas Weekend dates don’t ditch each other at basement party; Lee Chapel wedding to come

~ The Radish

While several of his peers supposedly left Friday’s Christmas Weekend basement party dateless and disappointed, first-year student Trent Kallen had “the best night of his college career” with his date, hall mate Kaylee Marshall, who he had asked just hours before Friday night’s events. When asked about his success relative to his friends, he answered, “Anyone … Continue reading Christmas Weekend dates don’t ditch each other at basement party; Lee Chapel wedding to come

Appeal of mock trial team still largely unclear to mock trial team

~ The Radish

“#Swept,” read the caption to junior “mocker” Tim LeBoise’s Facebook photo, which showed six WalMart trophies carefully organized from shiniest to least shiny (LeBoise’s proudest, of course, being the “best memorized script” award). LeBoise, who misses most major date functions so he may instead travel long distances in a rented minivan, has already had three … Continue reading Appeal of mock trial team still largely unclear to mock trial team

Area first-year reads PowerPoint verbatim in class presentation

~ The Radish

Strolling around Windfall with two Busch Lights, one large grin, and zero cares about the Peloponnesian War, Matt Jenkins, ’20, reportedly felt “great” about tomorrow’s presentation for HIS 332: History of Greek Wars. Arriving just in time for class, confident that his bullet points were “vastly” more extensive than others, he sat in class excited … Continue reading Area first-year reads PowerPoint verbatim in class presentation

Pre-med student attributes perfect MCAT score to Stall Street Journal

~ The Radish

“I don’t know why this school even bothers with Organic Chem,” said Kathy Fisher ’17, who recently found out about her elite performance on the medical school entrance exam. “I just take lengthy, frequent trips to the bathroom during some of my more useless lectures in the science center and that's when I learn the most.” Claiming the Stall … Continue reading Pre-med student attributes perfect MCAT score to Stall Street Journal

Guy with Vineyard Vines laptop sticker “definitely” going to be at Windfall tonight

~ The Radish

A junior from South Carolina (probably named, like, Hunter or something) divulged his night's plans to a group of fraternity men on earlier today. Sources from The Radish report that Hunter was sitting in Commons, eating some “pretty critical for the hangover I’ve got today” loaded fries, when he was approached by a couple of The … Continue reading Guy with Vineyard Vines laptop sticker “definitely” going to be at Windfall tonight

Amidst fall fashion sales, local sorority star really hopes her sisters don’t notice she orders from J.Crew Factory

~ The Radish

Charlotte Spiegelman knows the turn of Rockbridge County’s beautiful foliage can only mean one thing: change-of-season flash sales. This crucial time window allows fashion-conscious shoppers like Spiegelman to purchase items she totally would buy full price with less of her parent’s money. “That it’s on sale is just an added bonus,” Spiegelman admitted. “I’m buying … Continue reading Amidst fall fashion sales, local sorority star really hopes her sisters don’t notice she orders from J.Crew Factory

18-year-old ‘soul-mates’ vow to make it work

~ The Radish

Upon returning to campus after Thanksgiving break, area freshman Sara Holmes made a point to verbally re-commit to her long-distance boyfriend, John, in front of all her closest friends. “Tomorrow marks seven months, I just know he’s the one,” she announced to audible gasps of delight. Holmes has reportedly deemed it a “fluke” that her … Continue reading 18-year-old ‘soul-mates’ vow to make it work

Classmates pretty much done hearing about your internship last summer

~ The Radish

More than half way through Fall term, friends of Strategic Communications Major Lisa Lawson are pretty much done with hearing about her internship this summer. Despite having spent three months pushing pencils and making copies for a media company with a unrecognizable name, Lawson continues to reference her time in the city - oh no, … Continue reading Classmates pretty much done hearing about your internship last summer

Ann Coulter “bummed” she won’t be able to be wildly offensive at Mock Con 2020

~ The Radish

On an election day full of surprises, one person in particular seemed to be taking Trump’s improbable win to heart. As the results trickled in, Ann Coulter was seen pacing, pale in the face, and visibly upset about the results. Confused, a Radish reporter interviewed her and quickly realized that her stress was not tied … Continue reading Ann Coulter “bummed” she won’t be able to be wildly offensive at Mock Con 2020