WebAdvisor demands human sacrifice ahead of Winter Term registration

WebAdvisor was briefly down on Monday ahead of Winter Term registration.

Visitors to the web page were greeted with large red font on a black screen that, in exchange for access to the university’s registration software, demanded a member of the W&L student body. Preferably a freshman.

Though it has always been difficult to work with, this is the first year the platform has demonstrated Satanic comportment. While no student has come forward to be thrust into the churning lava pit that recently opened on Stemmons Plaza, the Registrar’s Office is hopeful this issue can be resolved quickly once someone is convinced.—Caroline Bones