Young alum enjoying brief celebrity status before returning to parents’ basement

Remarking how nice it is to feel important again, Hugh Stuffington walked down the Colonnade with a renewed sense of self-worth. “Hugh has arrived,” he thought to himself as he unloaded all one of his bags from his 2004 Toyota Odyssey. Having graduated this past May with a Strategic Communications degree, Stuffington, who is reportedly still exploring the job market, said he enjoyed all the new facilities on campus. After a briefly awkward conversation with a pledge brother who currently works at Facebook, Stuffington’s night took a turn for the better when he noticed a sophomore girl staring at him.

–Karen Santana-Garces ’17