Sitting in stunned silence, 20 students nervously looked around this morning when Professor Smirt asked the first question about last night’s reading. Given only a quarter of the class had even purchased the assigned text, everyone reportedly shifted uncomfortably in their seats for an excruciating 30 seconds before 19-year-old Teague Martin heroically broke the silence.

An on site source for The Radish claims events transpired as follows:

8:15:12 – The question was posed

8:15:16 – A student in the back row cleared his throat

8:15:24 – A sniff was heard, origin unknown

8:15:30 – The Professor tries again, “Anyone? I know you guys did the reading. Where in the chapter was it?”

8:15:35 – A student unzips her backpack, takes out her book, begins aimlessly flipping through the pages

8:15:42 – Martin raises his hand

“I was scared. We all were,” Martin shuddered. “But I just couldn’t take it!”

While the answer Martin gave was blatantly wrong, it did lead the professor off on such a tangent that no other questions were posed to the already shaken students.

-Daisy Kelly