The Registrar's Office has announced that after years of terrible parking jobs throughout campus, an FDR focusing on proper vehicle parking technique will be introduced in the Fall Term 2018 course offerings. "You kids are meant to be smart, but these are the worst parking jobs we've ever seen," a Registrar representative said. "This FDR … Continue reading Parking FDR to be Introduced Next Fall
Pisces (Feb. 19 - Mar. 20): The Sun is in Pisces until March 20, which will light up your passions and energy until they come grinding to a halt in the confusion and stress of the housing lottery. Happy birth month! Aries (Mar. 21 - Apr. 19): There are a rare two, beautiful full moons … Continue reading Your March Horoscope
Alleged sophomore Jack Goodacre was spotted in Hillel early Monday morning eating a cereal bagel. Onlookers were alarmed not by the poor choice in bagels, but by his mere presence. “I really thought he wasn’t real.” said Anna Smith ’19. “No one I’ve talked to has ever seen him around campus.” “I thought his Instagram … Continue reading Student Previously Thought to be Fake Spotted Eating Bagel
As students poured back into Lexington after Washington Break, many noticed a change in the usual scenery. Instead of the Cadaver Society's signature scribbled tag, large and complex murals of skulls, thirteens, and other symbols of the society can be seen on buildings across campus. The Cadavers have declined to comment on the recent shift … Continue reading Cadavers Advance From Tagging to Murals
With midterms on the horizon, students are settling into Leyburn to study. However, the rise in library traffic means an increase in stolen carrels. Some students have begun usurping carrels across all four floors. Public Safety warns that marking your carrel territory will not actually deter these drifters. Personal effects like books and water bottles … Continue reading Midterm Season Brings Rise in Stolen Carrels
Identify ice (ice is usually shiny, slick, and cold) Take a step Take another step Take another step See person approaching, look busy on phone Take another step Slip a little, but laugh it off and smile at the passerby that almost just saw you eat shit Take another step Slip, eat shit Try not to … Continue reading How to Walk on Ice
We tested every door- the sliding, the French, the double, and the just plain massive- on on campus to bring you this official ranking, accompanied by equivalent weights. Commons entryways: equivalent to a yogurt bowl with every available topping Leyburn entrance: relative to the size and grade weight of the assignment(s) you've procrastinated on the … Continue reading Ranking the Doors of Campus
Breaking news from Robinson Hall: Reports are pouring in after a student decimated the unspoken lecture seating arrangement by sitting at a different table than usual. Andy Brown, a sophomore who should know better by now, walked into his seminar with a chaotic scheme. Instead of sitting in his usual, inconvenient seat where he must … Continue reading Class Shocked as Student Defies Unspoken Seating Arrangement
Chi O: Requires that all shoes are removed before entering the house Theta: cozies up to both sides of the Parent Teacher Association Pi Phi: spends weeks on the kids' Halloween costumes Delta: argues with other parents and referees at sporting events Kappa: leads daughter's campaign for prom queen ADPi: makes sure all boys in her … Continue reading W&L Sororities as Moms
The Radish 