The Registrar’s Office has announced that after years of terrible parking jobs throughout campus, an FDR focusing on proper vehicle parking technique will be introduced in the Fall Term 2018 course offerings.
“You kids are meant to be smart, but these are the worst parking jobs we’ve ever seen,” a Registrar representative said. “This FDR is meant to target the poor angling, the over-the-lines, the hogging of 15 minute parking, the egregious disregard for fire lanes, disabled parking, and striped areas that were never even spots.”
The course will be designed much like the driver’s ed classes many students took in high school. “We know that everyone stayed focused and absorbed material in those settings, so we are modeling it for our courses.”
If you see a “Student Driver” sign on cars around campus, know that they are already licensed, but they are now unlearning years of abominable parking behavior.
One thing the FDR won’t focus on? Parallel parking. “If you’re dumb enough to attempt parallel parking on Lexington Main Street, there is no hope for an A in this course.”
The Radish 