Chat GPT Learns to throw epic rager, makes frats obsolete

Chat GPT: a marvel of computer science, capable of in-depth conversation, knowledgeable research, and efficient writing. Its latest update, however, taught it perhaps its most valuable skill yet: how to throw a sick-ass Frat party.

Some were skeptical at first.

“I saw that damn robot make a beer run this morning,” says sophomore Delta Zeta member Stewart Pidd, “but it’s no match. I’d love to see it play “No Hands” more often than we do.”

Only a few days after Chat GPT (Newly rebranded Chat “Gamma Phi Tau”) began prepping for its first party, buzz spread through campus like wildfire.

“My phone completely locked up,” says first year Dana Miller, “It wouldn’t let me back in until I accepted an invitation to an ‘ultimate real human fraternity fun time experience’.”

In the week leading up to the party, Chat GPT set about turning itself into a proper frat. Passersby reported seeing “robot hazing” taking place outside a house near Windfall hill.

“Drones paddling Ring cameras, Alexas making Roombas do keg stands… I thought I’d seen it all,” said one disturbed witness.

On Friday, what seemed like half of W&L lined up outside an already-packed party house. Inside were coolers neatly stocked with beer, a robot that would routinely cycle out participants with the keyword “shotgun?” and music from DJ Recaptcha.

“I never had to sign into my google account to enter a party before,” said sophomore Benjamin Dover, “But I’m willing to accept all cookies if it means I get to get lit.”

Despite its unconventional approach to hosting, Chat GPT quickly cemented its place in the W&L party scene, with all human-run frats reporting record low party attendance.

“It sucks, man,” says junior Daniel Bolton, “We were once the top frat at W&L. Now, Chat GPT’s getting laid more than all of us put together.”

Chas Chappell