Local sorority caught in grand embezzlement scheme

In a shocking turn of events, Hope Smith and Lizzy Warren, President and Vice President of the sorority formerly known as the Zetas, were arrested on multiple charges of embezzlement. As has been kept incredibly tight-lipped over the past week and a half, Zeta had engineered a campaign to disaffiliate its chapter from its nationals, … Continue reading Local sorority caught in grand embezzlement scheme

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VDOT to triple number of 18-wheelers on I-81 to Lexington because fuck you

“Yeah, you heard me. Fuck you, in particular, you sack of shit,” Virginia Department of Transportation President Mike Dorvino said in a statement earlier today, reportedly aimed specifically at you. Upon being asked for clarification, Dorvino made an obscene gesture, made fun of the fact that you didn’t go anywhere cool for February Break, and … Continue reading VDOT to triple number of 18-wheelers on I-81 to Lexington because fuck you

Fearing uncertain future of family private islands, area white females join demonstration against Trump Travel Ban

Following President Trump’s recent security-first executive order, many students showed their discontent by taking to the Colonnade. For many, the inspirational speeches, rallying, and protesting showed their support for friends and family members whose status in America may soon become hazy. For an unexpected “squad” of affluent white females, however, one point was continually reiterated … Continue reading Fearing uncertain future of family private islands, area white females join demonstration against Trump Travel Ban

Junior pre-orientation leader and freshman participant enjoy heartwarming, fairytale romance


Grasping her rain-soaked face with both hands, Phil Dowdy, ’18, gently kissed Ansley Smith, ’20, under the bright reflection of the full moon. It was O-Week at W&L, and the time for love couldn’t have been riper. The two struck the once-in-a-lifetime connection while hiking the “most difficult available, of course” section of the Appalachian … Continue reading Junior pre-orientation leader and freshman participant enjoy heartwarming, fairytale romance


Guy with Vineyard Vines laptop sticker “definitely” going to be at Windfall tonight

A junior from South Carolina (probably named, like, Hunter or something) divulged his night's plans to a group of fraternity men on earlier today. Sources from The Radish report that Hunter was sitting in Commons, eating some “pretty critical for the hangover I’ve got today” loaded fries, when he was approached by a couple of The … Continue reading Guy with Vineyard Vines laptop sticker “definitely” going to be at Windfall tonight

Upperclassman reminisces about living in Gilliam as nearby freshman backs away hurriedly

Following a flurry of frantic calls yesterday from a freshman student at a local fraternity house, Public Safety quickly arrived with backup to respond to the disturbance. The individual in question, who has requested to remain anonymous, told the officers that a “what classes are you taking?” conversation with an upperclassman took a turn for the … Continue reading Upperclassman reminisces about living in Gilliam as nearby freshman backs away hurriedly

Professor who just made a “Wednesday night” reference clearly still got it

Students of an introductory chemistry class were taken aback during their Thursday morning lecture when Professor Rich Lewis alluded to the previous night’s festivities. Sources say that after a clear lack of participation from the obviously hungover class, Lewis jokingly asked “Rough night out in the country last night?” The question intended to break the … Continue reading Professor who just made a “Wednesday night” reference clearly still got it