“1:37 a.m.,” Trisha Lewis’ bedroom clock read as she turned around to check the time. A considerable portion of her night, she realized, had been spent watching foreign hands mix cookie dough. Having convinced herself that she would take a brief break between parts 16m and 16n of her calculus worksheet, Lewis reportedly hit trouble … Continue reading Area Facebook user sucked into three-hour Tasty™ video trance
An unnamed Woods Creek resident pulled out her trusty Rainbow flipflops yesterday, only to find they were covered in mold. Shocked, the resident looked around and realized that there was mold on her walls that she hadn’t noticed before. “That explains my 5 diagnoses of pink eye this semester” laughed the resident, nervously. After pondering … Continue reading Woods creek residents offered $20 from facilities to “keep this mold between us”
While several of his peers supposedly left Friday’s Christmas Weekend basement party dateless and disappointed, first-year student Trent Kallen had “the best night of his college career” with his date, hall mate Kaylee Marshall, who he had asked just hours before Friday night’s events. When asked about his success relative to his friends, he answered, “Anyone … Continue reading Christmas Weekend dates don’t ditch each other at basement party; Lee Chapel wedding to come
“#Swept,” read the caption to junior “mocker” Tim LeBoise’s Facebook photo, which showed six WalMart trophies carefully organized from shiniest to least shiny (LeBoise’s proudest, of course, being the “best memorized script” award). LeBoise, who misses most major date functions so he may instead travel long distances in a rented minivan, has already had three … Continue reading Appeal of mock trial team still largely unclear to mock trial team
Strolling around Windfall with two Busch Lights, one large grin, and zero cares about the Peloponnesian War, Matt Jenkins, ’20, reportedly felt “great” about tomorrow’s presentation for HIS 332: History of Greek Wars. Arriving just in time for class, confident that his bullet points were “vastly” more extensive than others, he sat in class excited … Continue reading Area first-year reads PowerPoint verbatim in class presentation
“I don’t know why this school even bothers with Organic Chem,” said Kathy Fisher ’17, who recently found out about her elite performance on the medical school entrance exam. “I just take lengthy, frequent trips to the bathroom during some of my more useless lectures in the science center and that's when I learn the most.” Claiming the Stall … Continue reading Pre-med student attributes perfect MCAT score to Stall Street Journal
The Radish 