Feminist Group on Campus Launches Bold New Campaign

A new progressive club on our campus, Women and Libido (W&L), has recently put forth a mission statement. They claim that the misogyny and sexism perpetrated in Lexington is most flagrantly displayed… in bed. “Fake orgasms are a scourge and should be eradicated at all costs.” The group sees these performative acts as needlessly propping up the already much too inflated egos of Washington and Lee men. They urge dissatisfied women to speak up and offer these examples:

“Is that it?”

“I didn’t break Sidney’s Evans COVID guidelines so that you could cum.”

“My turn now!”

“Aye. Fight and you may die. Run, and you’ll live…at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days, from this day to that, for one chance – just one chance – to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our orgasm!”

“Olivia Benson could legally investigate you for this”

“Logan Lerman wouldn’t treat me like this.”

“Like the Civil War, I’m not a lost cause.”

The group will be holding meetings in the Women’s Resource room on Friday nights in the hopes that they can catch students before they go off to their sexually frustrating nights. Male students have complained that the group is sexist, but I would like remind them that women literally weren’t allowed to go here until 1985, and for that alone we deserve to cum.

CS ’22