In a recent study of W&L conducted Student Affairs (and re-emailed five minutes later by Student Health), 57% of students cited “avoiding tablers in Commons” as their number one source of anxiety.

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The Radish decided to delve further into the issue and conducted further studies in the field, where our reporters were accosted almost immediately.

“Hey, do you support childhood literacy?” asked notorious tabler Jenny Moore.

After an excruciating 18 seconds in the field, The Radish decided not to delve further into the issue and instead conducted a series of interviews with a few that have fallen into the trap.

Cameron Johnson, Moore’s most recent tabling victim, recounted his experience with true horror.

“It was 1:00. Everyone knows that classes start at 1:15 or 1:25. I was literally trapped,” recounted Johnson.  “I’m pretty sure I just paid $32 for a t-shirt.”

Effective excuses found in other interviews were “I’ll come back later,” “I already did that,” and “Sorry, I have class.” The use of headphones and a brisk, confident walking pace were also found to be good elusive techniques.

Stay safe out there.

-Hannah Dewing ‘19