According to student Ellie Knight, some “totally random guy” made an executive decision to change the gym TV channel from House Hunters to CNN. “The couple was just about to tour their third house,” Knight reported from her elliptical machine. “Then this jerk just comes up and changes it to the news – CNN was already on every other TV! Now I’ll never know if they chose the 3 and 1/2 bath the wife loved or the fixer-upper with the great backyard.” Thanks to that idiot, Knight was forced to spend the remainder of her workout scrolling through Twitter.

-Anna Kate Benedict ‘20