Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump made an unexpected visit to campus last week. Panic soon broke out as his private helicopter landed on Cannan Green, disrupting the third sorority pancake brunch of the year.

He immediately began stopping students, looking for “ the mock con artists” while vigorously writing checks. Sources say he was heard demanding a re-count of the Mock Con delegation votes. An interview with a student, who wished to remain anonymous, recalls approaching the fiery, orange candidate. “I tried explaining to him that we projected him to win the republican nomination, which he did. It was weird, he just kept yelling ‘I did not tweet that!’ ”

The Radish has not confirmed whether or not the delegations will be asked to report new data, but an underground student organization has begun to plan a gala. Chick-Fil-A will be for sale in commons on Monday.  -Marta Regn ’19