Panic abounded in the Washington and Lee Admissions Office this morning after waking up to find that campus was 100% white.

W&L’s president, struck with fear, immediately collaborated with maintenance to order salt trucks, shovels, and snow plows to tackle the inclement weather; a noble effort, indeed, to prevent the school from falling from “last” to “even further last” in Forbes’ annual diversity rankings. 

Though first years were flocking to the Colonnade for candid Instagram opportunities, W&L’s roving photographer and entire PR department were nowhere to be found (the same cannot be said for The Spectator’s editorial staff) — clearly, this bad press is desperately being kept under the radar. The only victory in the midst of this diversity disaster is the steep rise in snowflakes in Lexington.

—Coleman Martinson ’21 & Julia Habiger ’21