Mandatory Anti-Hazing Training for Controversial FUDG Organizers

In the most passive-aggressive email known to mankind, Associate Dean Calvin Driver announced that the irresponsible and reckless organizers of Friday Underground, so-named because “it is dangerous and likely illegal”, would be forced to undergo mandatory anti-hazing training. “Omega Kappas beating kids with sticks as they fall down stairs and drugging women’s drinks is unfortunate, … Continue reading Mandatory Anti-Hazing Training for Controversial FUDG Organizers

Spectator opens letters to Alumni 

Facing a lack of students willing to stand up for their beliefs, the student-run, alumni-bankrolled publication The Spectator announced it will open letters of opinion to alumni so that parents of Spectator staff can prove dumb liberals wrong. Chris Pratt (no relation), editor in chief of The Spectator, announced the changes at a meeting of … Continue reading Spectator opens letters to Alumni 

Mock Con ’24 Invites IRA to Speak 

In a stunned auditorium on Wednesday, it became clear that Mock Con had accidentally invited the Irish Republican Army to speak, appearing to have mistaken the far-left nationalist organization with Irish supporters of the American political party.  The speech, which was advertised as featuring conservative Irish-Americans working in the military, began with an unnamed man … Continue reading Mock Con ’24 Invites IRA to Speak 

Students for Life Announce “Chastity Week”

W&L’s student organization opposed to abortion rights announced a new “Chastity Week” to oppose SHAG’s yearly Sex Week extravaganza. “Remember the kid that hung up posters of a crusader knight in the library? That was actually our theme drop,” said Sam Austin, class of ‘23 and president of the club.  The new event will be … Continue reading Students for Life Announce “Chastity Week”