In the most passive-aggressive email known to mankind, Associate Dean Calvin Driver announced that the irresponsible and reckless organizers of Friday Underground, so-named because “it is dangerous and likely illegal”, would be forced to undergo mandatory anti-hazing training. “Omega Kappas beating kids with sticks as they fall down stairs and drugging women’s drinks is unfortunate, … Continue reading Mandatory Anti-Hazing Training for Controversial FUDG Organizers
Facing a lack of students willing to stand up for their beliefs, the student-run, alumni-bankrolled publication The Spectator announced it will open letters of opinion to alumni so that parents of Spectator staff can prove dumb liberals wrong. Chris Pratt (no relation), editor in chief of The Spectator, announced the changes at a meeting of … Continue reading Spectator opens letters to Alumni
In a stunned auditorium on Wednesday, it became clear that Mock Con had accidentally invited the Irish Republican Army to speak, appearing to have mistaken the far-left nationalist organization with Irish supporters of the American political party. The speech, which was advertised as featuring conservative Irish-Americans working in the military, began with an unnamed man … Continue reading Mock Con ’24 Invites IRA to Speak
W&L’s student organization opposed to abortion rights announced a new “Chastity Week” to oppose SHAG’s yearly Sex Week extravaganza. “Remember the kid that hung up posters of a crusader knight in the library? That was actually our theme drop,” said Sam Austin, class of ‘23 and president of the club. The new event will be … Continue reading Students for Life Announce “Chastity Week”
The Office of Career and Professional Development’s job presentation invitation to the CIA ended in disaster this afternoon when news broke that the Executive Committee had been overthrown and replaced with a far right American puppet regime. While the CIA denied involvement, the new Executive Committee, which announced in Yik Yak that it will be … Continue reading CIA Visit Ends in EC Coup
Despite the fact that you thought you managed to have a pretty decent summer, a recent study by the WLU Sociology department found that literally everyone on campus had a better summer than you. “Whether it was winning a Nobel Prize, spending three months in Europe, or marrying your mom, everyone else's summer was simply … Continue reading Study Finds Everyone Had Better Summers Than You
Daniel Starr, Class of 2025, was found to be hip, relatable and cool when leading his Volunteer Venture trip to Washington State during Pre-Orientation, now termed “Leading Edge” for some reason. “I know the froshies were scared when we were on the bus to the place, but I yelled ‘noice’ every time we passed a … Continue reading Pre-O Leader Really Cool and Relatable
Washington and Lee's latest rankings are out! Be sure to share them on your Instagram stories to flex on all your friends who go to public universities!