W&L admissions counselors have noticed a startling new trend as they begin to read admissions essays from the class of 2029. Strange, unintelligible phrases known as “brainrot” have appeared in several papers with alarming frequency, forcing W&L admissions to amend their policy on only accepting literate students.
“I don’t know what’s going on,” complained one admissions counselor who chose to remain anonymous. “You would think the iPads would have taught them to read by now.”
Another counselor echoed this sentiment. “All I have to say to this is ‘Erm, what the sigma?’”
The Radish was able to exclusively obtain the worst essay of this disturbing new trend and reprint it below:
Name: Group Leader
Hometown: Ohio
“I want to come to W&L because it is so skibidi. I can’t wait to rizz people up at the hill and get a grimace shake from Coop. I will be the alpha in all my Williams School classes and totally mog the McKinsey recruiters (I’ve been looksmaxxing for my LinkedIn profile picture). I have a strong respect for the Honor System because it stops fanum tax. Even though Robert E. Lee has negative aura, I’m so excited for W&L and I just gy-ATT to get in.”
After reading the essay, the admissions counselor was taken to the hospital for spontaneous bleeding from her eyes. The status of the application is still pending.
The Radish 