Washington and Lee University’s recent move to implement reusable to-go containers in its primary dining hall has been praised by experts as the “environmental policy decision of the century.” The policy’s success is ensured by a hefty fine administered to those unable or unwilling to return their boxes.
As admin logically expected, students are in ravenous support of the new policy.
“As a student on partial financial aid, the fine is an effective reminder for me to return my to-go box. On my flight to Belize over spring break, I realized that I had left three rival fungal colonies to fight for dominance over my dorm room and told my dad to turn the plane around immediately.”
Other students empathized with W&L, which saw its endowment dip to $2 billion last month.
“After the car crash, I was worried I would never walk again. But then I got to thinking about the polar bears, and remembered that I still had my container from the week before, so I ran across quad to return it. Ya know, for the penguins.
Dining Facilities Manager Bob Teller said the new rule makes life better for everyone.
“While cardboard containers need to be recycled or composted, cold hard plastic is a durable material which can stand the test of time. If you left a sandwich in a cardboard container for a week, the whole thing would be mush. It’s disgusting. With these new containers, you can leave a three-course meal to decompose in there for a month and still reuse the thing. Just scoop out the muck and run it through the dishwasher!”
The Radish 