Student Defies Aux Mob Rule, Creates Perfect Playlist

Being on aux when there is more than two people present in any given room or vehicle is stressful, but nothing compares to the meteoric rises and falls of party aux attempts. As quickly as you can put on one bop, you can just as easily end up booted from the speaker with your phone ripped from the dongle and your pride in tatters. Mob rule governs the party aux, with only a few boos needed to destroy your queue. 

With all that is at stake, it’s no wonder few can handle the pressure of being on aux for more than a few songs. One student, however, recently defied all odds and stayed on aux for a record 54 minutes. Though this student wishes to remain anonymous to avoid sudden fame, we tracked them down and asked for their insight on this momentous feat.

The student stresses that one must, above all, understand the room. “It’s all about reading the crowd, Windfall is just gonna have different needs than Pole 4,” the student said. For example, if less than half of the crowd is not singing along to a certain song, the situation could quickly turn critical. A good sign? “If no girls are waiting for the bathroom, you’ve got a hit. This means that they would rather pee themselves than miss out on whatever banger you’re playing next.” 

While the student acknowledges the dangers of taking risks on aux, they encourage certain moves that may pay off with high reward. “Soundcloud is risky, because you need to get in and out of there real fast, no lulls, but a well timed “The Spins” or Two Friends Big Bootie remix is just that worth it, ya know?”

With these tips, you can feel a little more confident about your next stint on aux. However, the student could not offer any advice for the elusive all girl’s pregame throwback queue, the most high pressure aux environment on campus. “My best guess? No more than three Jonas Brothers songs, nothing after 2008.”

 

— The Radish Team

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