Latin major realizes he better become Pope to make anything of education

Greg Freeman, a sophomore Latin major with a minor in outwardly justifying his major, reportedly made the tough realization yesterday while translating Homer’s Odyssey to English, presumably for the first time in the book’s history. A second-place finisher in the South Honeydale Regional Spelling Bee three years ago, Freeman was reportedly drawn to the subject due to his love of language, words, and correcting people unaware of the world’s smallest country. After years of peers, relatives, and Latin professors telling him that Latin doesn’t help with anything, he seems to have finally gotten the message. “Welp,” Freeman said with a shrug, “I’d better start memorizing that bible.”

–Balen Essak ‘20