How to Darty: A C-School Masterclass

This year’s roster of Spring Term classes is looking a little more interesting with the new addition of How to Darty. This unique class is designed and taught entirely by students, demonstrating the innovative spirit and community values at the core of W&L. 

They were inspired to put the class together after being haunted by a hurtful jibe made by a townie about how W&L students were too afraid to get grass stains on their Sperrys. 

“He absolutely did not need to go there,” says “Professor” Garret Hilman, ‘23, one of the creators of the course. 

The highly-competitive course is considered at the 300-level, requiring a significant amount of work and commitment. However, once taken, it might fulfill the Social Science requirement. 

“We’re still working out accreditation,” Professor Hilman admits.  

This class promises to teach students the science of dartying over the four-week duration, with mandatory attendance at both Bahamas and Beach. Topics range from choosing the appropriate sunglasses to perfecting the art of frolicking. 

Last Friday, students decided to lie on the grass in their bathing suits to accurately simulate a darty blackout. The schedule slightly varies, meeting only on 70+ degree afternoons outside of Poles. 

Jessica Porter, ‘25, loves the unpredictable schedule, saying: “The flexibility allows time for me to go to darties.” 

The Radish was able to exclusively obtain some of the course materials, shown below:

Required reading: The Grill Master’s Guide to Grilling pgs. 1 – idc

Grade breakdown:

  • Participation (in the darties): 95%
  • Final project: 5%

Office hours: Pole 7 on the porch, times TBD (depends on hangover)

Class Policies: 

  • Always full send
  • ??? 
  • Beer before liquor, never been sicker
  • Yeah that covers it

The class has already proved to be the most popular in the history of the school: the waiting list is hundreds of people long. However, some people bemoan the idea. 

“I don’t understand the point of the class because darties are the most elemental human instinct,” says Jackson “Rage Man” Stetson, ‘23. “You either know how to darty or you suck as a person.” 

Rumor has it that Walmart’s entire spikeball supply has been bought for the class, raising concerns about budget. However, “Professor” Hilman quelled that fear: “It’s all good, we have an IPA. I mean, IPO.”

Weekly guest lectures are highly competitive and will be given by people proven to be experienced in dartying, with the selection process including a “beer pong-kings cups-flip cup triathlon competition thingy,” according to the syllabus. Students appreciate the creativity found in the final project, which requires them to make and decorate a perfect borg. The cross-discipline nature of this project refutes claims that it’s easy. 

“It’s actually much harder than it looks,” Emma Gordon, ‘26, insinuates. “The vodka-water-Liquid IV ratio has to be perfect. And don’t even get me started about naming it. It’s criminal to have to choose between Borgan Wallen or Borgalicious. I’m really stressed out” 

Extra credit will be given to anyone who can stay in the pool the longest without contracting venereal diseases. 

– CD