The Class of 2022 Facebook group and other channels of communication for prospective students have been abuzz with the sudden disappearance of students dressed as crayons that were once seen all across campus.
“One of the people that DM’ed me off of the GroupMe said that he saw all these girls dressed head to toe in different colors when he was visiting, but when I was here for my tour I didn’t see any of them!” one prospective student said indignantly. “A lot of people have seen them though, so he’s not making it up.”
One post proclaimed that the walking crayons were not students, but townies, while another potential student pointed out that tour guides passed by them but never mentioned them. This intrepid investigator claimed that “there’s something they’re not telling us. I bet I can get to the bottom of it next fall, though.”
“You know, I heard that there was a secret society on campus. They’re the ones that draw colored chalk skulls on all the buildings.” Another post read. “I bet that exact chalk is in those fanny packs.”
The conspiracy theories are peppered in between overly enthusiastic posts about getting “fucked up” at Accepted Students’ Weekend and desperate calls for roommates.